I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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