i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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