Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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