You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it glows. i had to have it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
