just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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