My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize