it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
