i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think my mom watched the whole time
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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