idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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