I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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