Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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