Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
