i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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