I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
