She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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