I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
