what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
