Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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