matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Congratulations! We have a period
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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