...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
