It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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