I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
