I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
