That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
