yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize