i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
