he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
