READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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