Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize