Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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