My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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