do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
