I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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