First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
