Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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