At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
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Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
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Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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