I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Also, beer. Big fan.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
