We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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