seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
