Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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