we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
