I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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