I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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