new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.