Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF