She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize