I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
