he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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