You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
if i died would you start the facebook group?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
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I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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