no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
When are your genitals available?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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