ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
