New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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