Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just high enough for therapy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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