I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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