Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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