All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
