Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
