I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
