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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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